Friends 'til the End...

"A friend loves at all times.." Proverbs 17:17


A true friend is there with you through the good, the bad, and even the ugly.  A true friend doesn't enslave you with your flaws, recounting them over and over each time you have a conversation.  A true friend talks it out with you when there is discord.  A true friend is present.

Today was a day my mind decided to reflect on the relationships I have with my friends, past and present.  As an introvert, I have always valued a few close friends.  When I lived back east, I had just that - a few close friends and it was fine.  Once  I moved out west, suddenly my world opened up and I knew more people than I've ever known in my life.  Whether they were friends or acquaintances, it was quite overwhelming to my introverted heart...and still is today.  However, I am so grateful for the abundance of people I know now.  The Lord has blessed me with some wild, weird, and wonderful people in my life.  However, I miss having the closeness and familiarity that comes with having best friends.

Two things that I have learned in my life:  never label people your "best friend" or ask them to be your child's godparent.  I have had bad experiences when these two things occur.  I know it may not be true for everyone, but it is in my case.  As I think about the people I am no longer in touch with, a sadness builds.  I have always taken the loss of friendships very hard, whether or not it was justified.  I am no longer the person I was when I lived back east.  I have grown in areas that could only come from moving clear across the country on faith.  I get that people go in different directions and move in different circles, but somewhere in me always wants to know "why does it have to end?".  (Good grief, I'm starting to sound like I just broke up with my boyfriend or got left at the altar. Ok, snap out of it, sister!)

Remember that email/poem that went around talking about phases of friendship?  I always wonder who will be the lifelong friends.  Thank God for His grace to have a few still hanging in there with me. The new potential friendships I have encountered lately sometimes involve weirdness that I just can't connect to (or want to). No one seems authentic. There are masks all over the place, sometimes including my own.

In my work with children, I always tell them that "to have a friend is to be a friend".   Perhaps I am not a good friend or I need better social skills. I can take responsibility for that. Maybe I just need a reminder that Jesus is the "friend who sticks closer than a brother"(Proverbs 18:24).  In the meantime, I trust that the Lord knows best and thank Him for providing me and my family with a community of people with whom we can laugh and cry.

Until next time,
\o/