Change is coming....

"I've got to hold it steady, keep my head in the game - everything is about to change, everything is about to change.  This hurt is getting heavy, but I'm not about to cave - everything is about to change, there's gonna be brighter days. I'm gonna move......."    Move by MercyMe


There is a song by MercyMe called "Move".  This tune always plays in my head when I feel like it's time to do something else.  Of course, I mostly feel like this when I am at work.  Hmm, I think that's a hint.

One thing I have been struggling with is discerning between when to stay and when to go.  This is true for a lot of things, such as work and friends. Fear steps in and paralyzes any movement. I think I've grown accustomed to familiarity and a false sense of security that it can blind me from opportunities to move and grow.  Well, I need to break away from the "comfort zone" and head towards that scary, unfamiliar that can lead to an incredible journey of faith and fortitude.  It can also lead me to what I am supposed to be doing with all the gifts God has blessed me with.  But, I'm scared...

It's always interesting how I can help others in their fear and cannot seem to help myself. *sigh* Well, I want this time to be different.  This time, I actually want to move in the direction God wants me to....even afraid. Reaching the breaking point of circumstances will do that to a person.

Lord, although I am afraid, I will trust in You and Your plans for my life.  May my ears hear Your voice saying, "this is the way, walk in it"(Isaiah 30:21).  Amen

Until next time,
\o/

Friends 'til the End...

"A friend loves at all times.." Proverbs 17:17


A true friend is there with you through the good, the bad, and even the ugly.  A true friend doesn't enslave you with your flaws, recounting them over and over each time you have a conversation.  A true friend talks it out with you when there is discord.  A true friend is present.

Today was a day my mind decided to reflect on the relationships I have with my friends, past and present.  As an introvert, I have always valued a few close friends.  When I lived back east, I had just that - a few close friends and it was fine.  Once  I moved out west, suddenly my world opened up and I knew more people than I've ever known in my life.  Whether they were friends or acquaintances, it was quite overwhelming to my introverted heart...and still is today.  However, I am so grateful for the abundance of people I know now.  The Lord has blessed me with some wild, weird, and wonderful people in my life.  However, I miss having the closeness and familiarity that comes with having best friends.

Two things that I have learned in my life:  never label people your "best friend" or ask them to be your child's godparent.  I have had bad experiences when these two things occur.  I know it may not be true for everyone, but it is in my case.  As I think about the people I am no longer in touch with, a sadness builds.  I have always taken the loss of friendships very hard, whether or not it was justified.  I am no longer the person I was when I lived back east.  I have grown in areas that could only come from moving clear across the country on faith.  I get that people go in different directions and move in different circles, but somewhere in me always wants to know "why does it have to end?".  (Good grief, I'm starting to sound like I just broke up with my boyfriend or got left at the altar. Ok, snap out of it, sister!)

Remember that email/poem that went around talking about phases of friendship?  I always wonder who will be the lifelong friends.  Thank God for His grace to have a few still hanging in there with me. The new potential friendships I have encountered lately sometimes involve weirdness that I just can't connect to (or want to). No one seems authentic. There are masks all over the place, sometimes including my own.

In my work with children, I always tell them that "to have a friend is to be a friend".   Perhaps I am not a good friend or I need better social skills. I can take responsibility for that. Maybe I just need a reminder that Jesus is the "friend who sticks closer than a brother"(Proverbs 18:24).  In the meantime, I trust that the Lord knows best and thank Him for providing me and my family with a community of people with whom we can laugh and cry.

Until next time,
\o/

Just Do It....later?

I don't know about you, but I get bored easily.  When it comes to exercise, I really want some diversity in my workouts or my motivation will begin to wax cold.  This explains my stopping and starting exercise programs every 6 months.  It's defeating, I know, but I am having difficulty staying the course. You would think that my family medical history would change this, but I apparently am a hard learner (or just hard-headed).  I need a plan that works and doesn't involve me eating 3 sprigs of parsley a day and doing the insanity workout.  Hmm...

So, I decided to start slow to help me persevere and began exercising again this summer. Trying to find something you will stay consistent with is hard.  I like swimming and have been taking Aqua Zumba classes twice a week.  Wow, what fun!  This was so different from the deep water aerobics class that nearly left me breathless within the first 10 min.  Go figure, right? However, I need to do something more for strength training as I feel that I am starting to round off on the not so flattering edges of my person.  

Since I seem to be stressed out all the time, I thought about yoga, but it didn't sit we'll with me spiritually. I found an alternative to yoga called Praise Moves, which incorporates the Word of God and worship into the workout.  I bought the AM/PM DVD and now have this as a part of my weekly workout schedule.  At first glance, I told myself that it looks easy and I could do this everyday.  Uh...no.

Don't let the "zen" fool you. I am not a pretzel and stretching muscles I haven't used in a long time sent shock waves through my body. Ouch!  But I am determined not to give up and soak in Epsom salt when I need to.  I just hope that I don't  injure myself in the meantime.  

Breathe....breathe....breathe....

\o/

Something New

I am always looking for ways to change up the ordinary things around me. Take this blog, for example. It needed an upgrade (and a purpose).  I still am unsure what I want to accomplish with it, but I thought that changing the name and look of it was a good start.  Also, adding another contributor can only help, right? Maybe we will just write about stuff and see what comes of it.  In the meantime, I know that I am leaning towards revitalizing my life from the inside out.  Perspective is everything, so maybe I can fine tune it a little right here.  Hmm...we'll see.  Change can be good...right? 

Stay tuned...

\o/